Hey all! I’ve been wanting to post for some time, but I’ve been throwing every scrap of available energy into the new book. I didn’t want to disrupt progress until I reached a point where I could park the project for a few weeks and catch up on everything else. So while the engines cool, let’s get right into the details.
What has been happening?
Over the past two years, health has been gradually improving. Occasional relapses make for a jagged graph, but if I take an average, productivity is on the rise. Each half-year has been better than the last. In keeping with the plan described in the previous post, I’ve been working on the science fiction novel exclusively. I am currently busy with version 3, the second rewrite.
The first rewrite was extensive. The rough draft, from years back, was something of an exploratory journey in which I got a feel for things while moving through the new story space. Because I didn’t want to get mired in detail, I left much of that for later and focused on the core of the experience. During the rewrite, that undetailed world needed a complete rebuild, this time with the dials cranked to full on both imagination and research.
One of the things that robs a story of authenticity is a narrative that shows no depth of knowledge in how things actually work. Invented gizmos are great, but if everything is imagination with zero research, it shows pretty quickly. Even a non-scientific reader will start to detect a certain thinness. An avalanche of detail is not the goal, but it’s the textures of known reality that help bring authenticity to a futuristic one (or a fantasy one – something I’ve mentioned before.) This hurdle of solid worldbuilding was the biggest in the process, and it’s now behind me.
In the second rewrite, the main focus is characters – their motives and relationships. In my experience, it’s easier to write compelling characters when they are placed in an environment that feels real and that demands they interact with it. You get to learn a lot about someone when they fail to hear the four-tone sirens warning of an unearthly creature’s approach, or when they think they are alone on the machine-cluttered factory floor and begin explaining to the drill press everything that is wrong with the world.
How is the science fiction book turning out?
In terms of the reading experience, the story takes place over months, not years, so the pacing is quicker than Dawn of Wonder. This is very definitely an adventure, rather than a coming-of-age story. But one thing I’ve been careful to avoid is the feeling of being hurried to the end and booted off the last page before getting to soak in the new world. Accordingly, there’s now enough space in the story for the reader to wander and explore. I’ve also put a lot into the spaces themselves, building environments that readers – if anything like me – would want to get lost in.
The original ideas in speculative fiction always have their roots in the real world, even if those roots end up being very long and tenuous. Something I’ve been working hard on is trying to capture the awe I felt as a child when the workers were done for the day and nobody was there to stop me clambering over that massive grader – or the more cerebral awe I felt as a physics student when we were taken to a nuclear research facility and looked down into its deep cooling pool, where the eerie blue of the photonic shockwave told of highly radioactive materials – all safely shielded by several metres of water, but daunting nonetheless
The story I’m writing goes a long way beyond graders and fission-plant cooling tanks, but I’ve never forgotten how experiences like those made me feel, and I work constantly to build a world that will spark in readers something of that same awe that inspired the book.
What is the current plan with The Wakening series?
Though it’s taking longer than anticipated, I’m still on track with what I described in the previous post. The plan is to finish and release the shorter science fiction novel and raise the funds needed to get me through the bigger project of the next Wakening instalment with its higher energy demand and production costs. It’s a stepping-stone approach that makes the crossing feasible. At this point, I’m keeping food on the table and a roof over my head thanks to the unbelievably generous and loyal team of supporters on Patreon, who are, in a very real sense, carrying me across to the next release.
With the sci-fi novel out, I expect to have enough financial relief and breathing space to attack the next book in The Wakening. Given my gradually improving health and productivity, by the time I get there I should have the capacity for the much longer manuscript.
Holding it together and pushing on through chronic illness has required me to run a tighter ship than before. Learning to process disappointment has been vital. I’ll share a little of what I’ve learned in my personal journey in this area, but if you’re only here for progress updates, I completely understand if you want to skip ahead to the last section.
Processing crushed expectations
Disappointed expectations, especially the big and long-term ones, can be devastating. They can tempt us to turn our backs on people, and even on God. The latter has terrible consequences, but in the moment, we can feel cornered by the reasoning – we trust God for something, our hopes are crushed, we conclude he failed us. I’ve heard people address this by suggesting that we forgive God, but even if we overlook the staggering disrespect in that idea, where’s the sense? Any being that needs to be forgiven is not worthy of being called God.
When a healthy life is bent out of shape by any form of trial or tragedy, it’s easy to look heavenward and entertain words like “failed” or “betrayed”. In these times, I’ve found it valuable to acknowledge the feeling, but then ask the question, what were the steps that led me to feel this way? If I dig enough, and if I’m honest enough, the answer is almost always poorly founded expectations.
Here’s a quick example. Even if you haven’t read the bible, you may have heard the words, “I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” If you don’t read the rest of the chapter, it would be easy to conclude something like this: If God’s plan is about my prosperity, and my plans are also about my prosperity, it must mean he agrees with my plans and intends to support them. But anyone who does read the rest of the chapter will see that this is not at all what God is saying through Jeremiah. The point being made could be paraphrased as, “The plans I have for you, which will lead to your good, require you to give up your plans.” An expectation built on the first interpretation, the misinterpretation rinsed of context, is guaranteed to fail, because it was never promised to us.
Processing crushed expectations through years of chronic illness wasn’t about venting emotions; it was about having a deep and honest look at the basis of each failed expectation and acknowledging my own misinterpretations. This completely changed the emotions.
There are passages in the Bible that speak of God healing us and passages that describe how God uses suffering for good in our lives. Different things at different times for different purposes. So while I have not yet been fully healed, I still believe God heals, and I will continue to ask for healing. But I also recognise that, while he welcomes our requests, no prayer compels God to do our will, and he may well have reason to say no, or not yet. For many of us, though, that raises a question:
What value could there be in suffering?
Many books have been written on this. For the most part, big questions can’t be answered in a few words, so I won’t attempt to tackle the topic in a general sense. I’ll just mention two areas where I’ve seen purpose in recent times.
The best of treasures
This is something I’ve touched on before, but it’s so foundational that I don’t think I could leave it out here. Have you ever noticed how people reach for God with more of themselves – more time, more energy, more intentionality – when in need? Writers have commented on this from ancient times. In questioning the purpose of trials, a thought struck. If thirst moves us to dig a well that yields not only water but a buried treasure, who would complain against the thirst? My trials certainly resulted in a treasure trove of intimacy with God because of my desperation. Not even the sum total of everything I lost comes close to this in worth.
Pursuing God might begin from needy or even selfish motivations, but we become like whatever our eyes are fixed on. Our treasure has a way of shaping our hearts. If we grow to love God – his greatest command – then the closeness that follows will shape our hearts to be more like his, and we will find ourselves wanting to fulfil what Jesus described as the second greatest command – to love people. Loving God might require sacrifice, but it is no loss. We are the ones who gain the most in the relationship. It is very much for our own good, and it directly leads to the good of those around us.
Character
Breakthrough is often thought of as overcoming something that opposes us, but few things oppose or limit us like aspects of character – our own natures. Character never grows much when life is running smoothly, just as muscles don’t grow when they have nothing to oppose them. But when the pressure is unbearable and we resist the urge to take it out on others, or to turn to poisonous comforts, or even just to retreat from life and give in – those are times of personal breakthrough. Just as character is revealed in the struggle, it also has the chance to grow there.
In this sense, breakthrough is not the end of a trial – breakthrough is what happens during the trial as it begins to accomplish what it was meant to. Here we grow into things like a deeper trust, a sturdier faith, humility in place of pride, intimacy in place of autonomy, or a more complete surrender – these are huge conquests.
I don’t think it’s ever wrong to ask for healing or deliverance from something deeply difficult or painful, but I’ve found that we can lose out on the opportunity for growth – we can miss the good that God intends for us – if we refuse to accept that difficult times can have valuable purposes in our lives.
Back to the hangar
To everyone who’s dropped in here, thank you for sticking around through this time of illness. I hope your patience will be rewarded before too much longer and that I’ll be able to give you a book worth the wait.
I’m not one for text reveals (because of how much the text changes through the rewrites), but I can give you another visual book peek. It helps me sometimes to put together visuals of the scenes I’ve written. This one gives a pretty good idea of the craft that will launch our intrepid crew on their adventure. I hope you like it – your berths are being prepared.
We are but a grain of sand on an endless beach of time and space. To make something out of that grain can feel impossible, like magic we do not have is needed to fuel a reaction we do not understand. But that may be the point, just because we don’t understand or possess the proper tools yet doesn’t mean tomorrow won’t have the answers we’re all looking for. Sometimes I look up at the stars and wonder what it’s all about and where i’m supposed to be in this life and world – and sometimes I realize, every day is a dawn of wonder. Keep my eyes pointed up and forward to the next horizon for there lies who I could be. Prayers to you and to everyone else, there is a reason for us all
Thank you for sharing where you are at with things! I am glad to hear things are steadily improving! You new sci-fi book sounds interesting, and I will look forward to reading it.
As someone whose life dreams have been crushed a few times over my life (not that I have walked through what you have, because I haven’t), I appreciate your balanced, God honoring perspective. Generally my similar life challenges/pain has been due to misplaced expectations as well (Many desires are good and God given, but I have also found that when these desires become expectations are when we get in trouble). It can be easily to be angry with God and everything else on one extreme, or to try to pretend everything is find on the other hand, but I have come to think that God wants us to live in the tension in the middle (acknowledging our emotions without ignoring them, while also confronting them with God’s character and truth from the Bible). One of my favorite sections of the Bible for us dealing with our emotions is Pslams 62:5-8, where it encourages to pour our hearts out to God (being honest about our emotions), while also encouraging us to cling to God as our Rock and our Salvation. Something that has helped me with processing some of my own life challenges, is to studying God’s character; I came to realize that my view of God on some level was to smaller, closer to a “vending machine” than the Sovereign Creator God of heaven Who sent His only Son to life, suffer and die for our sins.
I absolutely agree that character is not generally developed when life is going well, and unfortunately character growth seems to occur most when walking through challenges.
A book I found really helpful is called “Experience Grief” by H. Norman Wright. It is a small pocket sized book with very manageable 1-4 page chapters, written by a well known Christian grief counsellor. I have read it a few times after experience significant life setbacks, and I have found it really helpful. It is technically focused on grieving the loss of a loved one, but I have found it helpful for processing other losses as well.
Another thing that has been helpful is keeping a thankfulness journal each day, and then going back to review it at the end of the week. It was suggested to me by a pastor, and I have found it far more helpful than I expected.
I am praying for you, and I am thankful for the perseverance you have shown in spite of the challenges.
Hey my man,
just finished Dawn of Wonder for the second time and it‘s such a „wonder-ful“ book. I read some fantasy throughout the years and this is by far my most favourite novel. Love it!
Just wanted to tell you that and say hi from Germany and that I am very much relieved that your health is continually improving. Just know that our continued support for you is secured!
And one last thing: Everytime Fergal talks I‘m reminded of you, believing it to be no mere circumstance but rather you leaving a tiny personal note in the script… 😉
God bless you, Jonathan!
Cheers
Awesome. I’ve beeen checking here every month for an update, and I’m glad to hear some positive news from you.
I’ve just finished my second reading of dawn of wonder and was even better the second time. Can’t wait for book 2.
Thank you for sharing this update. I look forward to the wakening book 2 and will definitely buy the upcoming sci fi book.
Irrespective of your works, I wish you continued improvement in your recovery, and if it means anything, I offer my thanks for the dozens of hours of happiness and escape you have already provided through multiple re-reads of the wakening.
Thanks for the update, and I request a most benevolent outcome for your road to health, and in completing all of your stories. Looking forward to learning more about your sci-fi book, and getting the follow-up to Dawn of Wonder 🙂
Well this is some of the best news I’ve heard this year. Thrilled you’ve seen some improvement in your health!
Very cool, man. I’m glad to hear your health is improving. Sounds like you’ve been through a grueling experience. That God has so obviously been a source of strength and support to you is awesome. I will pray for you.
Hey, I just have to say I was really excited to stop in and see and a post from you! I read your book Dawn of Wonder some time ago and was really impressed with it. Like many of your readers, I’ve been anticipating it for some time. As someone who has dealt with chronic illness as well over the past few years, and who has a husband, children and a life, I feel the pain though. I just finished writing a middle grade book myself, and am beginning work on a young adult series, and was looking into the process of publishing and what it’s like out there for an author who does not want to write certain things (If you know, you know…) It gets pretty bleak. Your book popped back into my mind and I came to look you up, because I was curious how you went about publishing your story. So glad to hear you are doing well and still writing!
I am so glad you are doing better! It is wonderful getting to hear an update on how it’s going, I think of you often and send a prayer when I do. Still awaiting the release of your next books anxiously! (And trying patiently 😉 ) Lord bless you Sir!
I’m thrilled to hear the news!
It’s encouraging to hear that through it all God has given you far more than what was lost.
I’m so excited to read your new novel! I just finished another reread of Dawn of Wonder (must be reread 5? 6 maybe?) and I can’t wait to see that series continued as well. This latest reread I’ve gotten my book club to take up the book and I’m excited to talk to new converts and be able to share the good news that you’re back in action!
Coming back to write after the amount of struggle you’ve gone through is honestly inspiring. Your work was already near the top of the long list of influences that inspired me to try to write one of my own, but your work ethic and will that’s clearly stronger than iron inspire me even more! Thank you. Not just for what you write, but for the example you set for aspiring authors.
On a final note, when the time comes, have you considered working with a book binding company to release a special edition of Dawn of Wonder near when book 2 releases? I think it might help to re-stoke the flames for some readers who’ve forgotten about the series, and be a draw for new readers as well. I recently purchased from a beautiful copy of Sword of Kaigen company called Wraith Marked, and, quite frankly, I’m feeling greedy when I think of a similar copy of Dawn of Wonder.
In closing I’ll try to reiterate. I saw you posted again and audibly exclaimed and started talking to an empty car. There is no sense of disappointment in your absence, just joy in your return. Move at your pace, everything else will follow. God bless and I pray for your continued recovery!
Hey Jonathan, I’m glad to hear that you’re experiencing improvement with your health. I’m more happy that you are deepening your relationship with God. My 7th grade daughter just finished Dawn of Wonder yesterday. She’s excited to save Kalry.
The new book sounds interesting.
Also, you don’t have to hit major milestones before sending an update. Feel free to send a quick paragraph saying you’re having a good week or mention you’re having a bad week. Either way it’s good to have a bit of communication.
Great news. I pray for your continuous improving health and that it may be part of God’s plan. I loved reading Dawn of Wonder and am looking forward to your next book.
Jonathan, ever since I discovered Dawn of Wonder back in Dec of 2015, I have been eagerly awaiting the second book. I got several friends and family interested in the series. I very much support your hard work and have prayed for you as well. Thank you very much for the update. I am interested in the new story and to see where it goes and will be glad when book 2 & 3 comes out for the rest of the series. We will be here…
Thank you for the update Jonathan. And thank you for sharing your perspective. I look forward to your next book and have high hopes your health and wellbeing continue to improve.
I love your blog posts. Its great to hear you are writing like this again. So happy for you.
Your talking about the need to have knowledge… you have come back to this again and again in your blog posts, like for example making the bow and arrow, then writing about it in your book. After reading your blog posts and then re-listening to Dawn of Wonder, I could feel that learned knowledge throughout the book and I could understand the depth that learned knowledge brought.
Can’t wait to get the new book.
Looking forward to your next installments. I’ve been keeping up to date with your progress, not just in your book writing, but your health. I’ve been praying for you as well. Those verses in Jeremiah hit hard when we understand the nation the Israelites were in captivity to. But they knew WHEN they were going to come out of captivity because of the prophecies. We rarely have the luxury of knowing God’s timetable for our lives. But it isn’t the ones who RECEIVE what God has promised that renew their strength in Him; it’s those who WAIT.
Great to hear an update from you, Jonathan! Wishing you the best for your health and looking forward to reading, frankly, anything you write. Looking forward to hearing more.
Thank you, Jonathan! It’s a highlight of my year to see a new blog entry. Grateful that the Lord has used this very trying time to draw you nearer to himself! I’m also looking forward to the new sci-fi book. Dawn of Wander continues to reign unchallenged as my favorite.
Honestly man, if you had written a book titled.
‘This book is to finance the awakening book 2’ and just wrote whatever you wanted in it. Myself and many others who found awe and wonder in The Dawn of Wonder would probably buy it just to see another book youve written.
Regardless of its quality in any case, its the writer many of us are behind at this point.
Relax, do what you got to do, and even in the dreaded event of a one hit wonder. Take pride in how many lives youve touched, and how many people have read these blogs, and found God’s scripture in their leaves.
Hoping the best for you man, and Ill be buying any renshaw books I can, in support of bringing up a talented writer who has brought me back to biblical scripture more than once.
Thanks
Hey Jonathan thanks for the update. Many blessings from Australia. I will keep praying for your healing having been a pastor in a healing ministry and gone through the absolute devastation and chaos of divorce & Family break up, I can relate with the things you shared. God is good and he allows us to go through trials so that we will overcome and grow. We never fully understand but we do trust that there is light at the end of the tunnel and he will bring us through.
First of all want to say thank you for this update! I’m so excited that you’re writing again, but for you not for me. I’ll always read anything you release whenever it happens.
Your story sounds so much like the one I’ve been through the last four years. Chronic fatigue, dizzy, lightheaded days where I I couldn’t get out of bed, no mental capacity to process anything, nearly impossible to be there for my kids, and on and on. I thank God I found the root cause of mine – cervical in general nervous system instability due to extreme Ford neck, posture and compression on the nerves in my neck. With the right bio mechanic specialist/massage therapist, in six months of hard work I feel 100% again. I pray you two find the source of yours. I’ll be more than happy to chat with you about the specifics, I’ve gone down a deep deep deep hole with this stuff. But again, you don’t know me.
All that’s to say – still praying for you, I’m excited for whatever comes whatever it comes, and I’m honna jump into that Patreon and help out.
God bless, my dude!
Delighted to hear you are recovering and feeling better. Keep going and I look forward to the new book.